Here I am, sitting in a virtually empty office while all of the other employees here take advantage of their vacation pay and (presumably) spend their Christmas bonus money. It's really hard for me, in this scenario, not to feel negative about my situation. Unceremoniously dumped by a company in which I invested more than 10 years of my time and hard work earlier this year, I'm now an independent contractor which means that I work for myself, and I can't afford to give myself holiday pay or a Christmas bonus because I'm now working for about 15 percent of my previous salary.
When I was interviewed for this contract, I was assured that it was a "right to hire" and that the initial contract period was merely a formality to ensure that I am what my resume says I am. I was told that I'd be hired full time before Christmas. Instead, they extended my contract (to avoid paying me benefits) and then promptly (and without ever actually notifying me) gave me a promotion (after I agreed to continue at the same rate).
Those same people are all on vacation this week, taking full advantage of their perks and benefits. Those same people mandated that anyone who can't take the time off has to show up in the office this week so that the team can "have a presence". Who are they worried about impressing I have no idea, the only people in the entire building this week are peons and independent contractors - all of the executives are currently in their second week of sunning themseves in Wakiki.
To top it all off, all 6 of my bosses have been on vacation since before last week, and they didn't leave us enough work to last us 2 days. So all I have to do all week (and it's an abbreviated week - the company gave its employees Friday off as a gift, which means that I can't work and will have to lose another day's pay without any choice in the matter) is sit here and feel disgruntled about my position.
There's got to be a better way. I refuse to do this until retirement. I poured my life into my last job, thinking that it would pay off, underestimating man's constant and dependable tendancy to screw over everyone else at the first possible chance. I won't do that again. The next project I invest myself in will be for me, and it's going to be the one that I sell to Microsoft or Google and retire off of.
And while that means that I'll find myself on the same Wakiki beaches as the executives who today I loathe, I'll happily watch them sipping their fruity drinks, knowing that the woman sunning herself next to me in her white bikini is so much hotter and wonderful than their washed up resentful old housewives, and that they may have two weeks off from the ratrace but I found a way to leave it all behind me.
Monday, December 29, 2008
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
Attention
It has come to my attention that either I am a huge asshole, or everyone else in the world is. That is all.
Monday, December 1, 2008
Traffic Czar
The newly-elected President has been busy filling top cabinet positions the past few weeks, and reading about this in the news got me to thinking that there should be a new post created to go along with them: Traffic Czar. Obviously I nominate myself for the position. If confirmed, I would institute the following Federal regulations regarding driving on the roads of this fine country:
1) Speed limits will be renamed to Speed Guidelines, and enforced as follows:
- A new driver's license endorsement will be issued to qualified drivers based on their driving abilities and the capabilities of the vehicles that they are driving. Drivers that can prove in a driving test that they can control their vehicle at high speeds and what for other drivers might be considered unsafe conditions would be given "Limit Free" licenses, allowing them to drive at any speed they desired on any road. Having a single speed limit for all drivers regardless of ability is like levelling a fixed tax amount on everyone regardless of their income. Blue hairs and soccer moms that can't handle speed don't drive the speed limit anyway, so why should I be restricted as long as I can handle my vehicle and it is built for performance? Carriers of "Limit Free" licenses would not be given tickets for exceeding posted speed guidelines, although they are still subject to being stopped and audited to ensure that they are following all other requirements of the law. This endorsement will be null and void in inclement weather conditions.
- Failure to pull over and let faster drivers pass would result in a fine. People who drive slowly shouldn't have to drive faster just because I want to, but I shouldn't have to drive 25 miles an hour. Ever. If you drive like my mom then clearly you aren't all that interested in getting to your destination in a timely manner, so pulling over for 3 seconds to let me go about my business isn't going to hold you back in any significant way.
2) Anyone with a DVD player or giant GPS screen mounted on their dashboard will be required to mount a screen blocker in their back window so that anyone following them at night won't end up transfixed on the bright and sparkly colors shining from the middle of an otherwise darkened vehicle. It's downright dangerous to distract attention from brake lights, and the brightness of these screens affects depth perception when judging distance. And what the hell are you doing in there anyway, it's a car, not a goddamn living room.
3) A new driver's license endorsement will be issued to qualified drivers who can prove in a driving test that they can a) successfully merge onto a highway, b) consistenly navigate at highway speeds, and c) are aware enough to facilitate merging traffic when travelling in the right lane of a highway. This one is for you, stupid silver SUV that honked at me because I dared try to merge in front of them in the highway this morning on my way to work. Without such an endorsement, drivers will not be allowed on the country's highways.
4) Minimum speed limits will be posted and enforced on highway entrance ramps. Douchebags trying to merge onto highway traffic while travelling 40 MPH will be pulled over and summarily shot. Or fined, I guess, depending on the popularity of this particular law.
5) All traffic laws will be lifted in rush hour conditions. Cops that pull over people in heavy traffic thereby creating aggravated rubbernecking siituations are part of the problem, not the solution.
6) Rubberneckers will have their licenses revoked. Rent "Faces of Death" if you want to see carnage, otherwise keep driving with your eyes on the road, asshole.
7) Motorcycles and scooters will be absolved of all parking regulations and fees. All parking garages will be required to admit cycles and will be forced to charge no more than half the cost of parking a car, since cycles take up half the space. Take that, Hartford Parking Authority.
8) Seatbelt and cell phone laws will all be revoked, re: Darwin.
1) Speed limits will be renamed to Speed Guidelines, and enforced as follows:
- A new driver's license endorsement will be issued to qualified drivers based on their driving abilities and the capabilities of the vehicles that they are driving. Drivers that can prove in a driving test that they can control their vehicle at high speeds and what for other drivers might be considered unsafe conditions would be given "Limit Free" licenses, allowing them to drive at any speed they desired on any road. Having a single speed limit for all drivers regardless of ability is like levelling a fixed tax amount on everyone regardless of their income. Blue hairs and soccer moms that can't handle speed don't drive the speed limit anyway, so why should I be restricted as long as I can handle my vehicle and it is built for performance? Carriers of "Limit Free" licenses would not be given tickets for exceeding posted speed guidelines, although they are still subject to being stopped and audited to ensure that they are following all other requirements of the law. This endorsement will be null and void in inclement weather conditions.
- Failure to pull over and let faster drivers pass would result in a fine. People who drive slowly shouldn't have to drive faster just because I want to, but I shouldn't have to drive 25 miles an hour. Ever. If you drive like my mom then clearly you aren't all that interested in getting to your destination in a timely manner, so pulling over for 3 seconds to let me go about my business isn't going to hold you back in any significant way.
2) Anyone with a DVD player or giant GPS screen mounted on their dashboard will be required to mount a screen blocker in their back window so that anyone following them at night won't end up transfixed on the bright and sparkly colors shining from the middle of an otherwise darkened vehicle. It's downright dangerous to distract attention from brake lights, and the brightness of these screens affects depth perception when judging distance. And what the hell are you doing in there anyway, it's a car, not a goddamn living room.
3) A new driver's license endorsement will be issued to qualified drivers who can prove in a driving test that they can a) successfully merge onto a highway, b) consistenly navigate at highway speeds, and c) are aware enough to facilitate merging traffic when travelling in the right lane of a highway. This one is for you, stupid silver SUV that honked at me because I dared try to merge in front of them in the highway this morning on my way to work. Without such an endorsement, drivers will not be allowed on the country's highways.
4) Minimum speed limits will be posted and enforced on highway entrance ramps. Douchebags trying to merge onto highway traffic while travelling 40 MPH will be pulled over and summarily shot. Or fined, I guess, depending on the popularity of this particular law.
5) All traffic laws will be lifted in rush hour conditions. Cops that pull over people in heavy traffic thereby creating aggravated rubbernecking siituations are part of the problem, not the solution.
6) Rubberneckers will have their licenses revoked. Rent "Faces of Death" if you want to see carnage, otherwise keep driving with your eyes on the road, asshole.
7) Motorcycles and scooters will be absolved of all parking regulations and fees. All parking garages will be required to admit cycles and will be forced to charge no more than half the cost of parking a car, since cycles take up half the space. Take that, Hartford Parking Authority.
8) Seatbelt and cell phone laws will all be revoked, re: Darwin.
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