DRIVE ALREADY!!!!

I have not had to drive in rush hour traffic for over 10 years, and I had forgotten just how maddening it is. What the hell is with these people driving so slowly and timidly? YOU ARE ON YOUR WAY HOME PEOPLE!!!!!! Put the foot down!

Woah, I think I just realized what's going on. When I leave work I want to get home immediately because my entire day so far has been spent living for someone else. I want my "me" time, and commuting is not part of it (despite being on a bike - riding with someone else's exhaust in your face is not riding).

Maybe all these other people dread going home to their families and that's why they drag their feet driving home.

If I had someone I love waiting for me at home, pop tarts in the toaster, I would drive as fast as I could to be with them. I'd break speed limits, I'd pass over solid yellow lines, I'd run yellow lights.

You motherfuckers really need to evaluate your living situations if getting home s quickly as possible after work is not a priority for you.

Corporate Dress Codes

I started a new job today, working for an insurance company in Hartford. I really kind of feel bad ranting at all about this, because it's a really cool and laid-back company - their dress code is business casual most of the week and free-for-all on Fridays. That's awesome.

But still, what's the deal even with business casual? I am SO much more productive when I am comfortable, and I am comfortable only when I am wearing jeans and a t-shirt (or nothing, but I am willing to concede that we have to have SOME rules). Khakis make me want to puke, and not in a good way, and tucking in a button-down shirt (I REFUSE to wear a polo shirt) is retarded - it puffs out around the waist and makes you look like you are bloating.

I will say, however, that my butt looks REALLY NICE in khakis. So I have that going for me.

Is it Friday yet???

Starship Troopers

I am currently watching Starship Troopers. While I am thoroughly enjoying it, mostly because Denise Richards is in it and I could watch a 2-hour film of her shitting on the hood of a Camaro while eating a corndog and singing karaoke and I would applaud it's artistic merit, I can't help but wonder one thing.

In this futuristic society where the human race has pioneered interstellar space travel to the point where they can travel across the Milky Way Galaxy in apparently a few days - and the Milky Way Galaxy is mind-bogglingly big, there is simply no way for the human mind to actually fathom the distance from one end to another - how is it that they have not also improved on the AK-47? Seriously, that's the best weapon we have? Are we going to forget grenades ever existed? Or grenade launchers? Or rockets?

Are we really not going to be able to use this "star drive" technology to also create some sort of weapon that can destroy a giant bug with one shot?

The human race is doomed.

Unless we bulk up on our electrolytes and start selling handjobs at Starbucks, of course...