Corporate Stupidity vs. the Free Man

I was out today on the bike with my dad, taking pictures of a stuffed pig at Connecticut hotspots in order to document its trip through our lovely state. We had a great day, and hit a lot of places, striking up some fine conversations mostly centered around what a big tough guy like me was doing carrying around a stuffed animal.

The last scheduled stop for the day was the home office of a cable TV channel that I will not dignify by naming (any publicity is good, and all that) except to say that its name rhymes with "Lesbian", and it is not nearly as much fun as that to watch. When we got there we pulled into a public side street to look for a place to park the bikes so I could snap a shot of the pig in front of the satellite dishes, and were immediately accosted by a security guard. I asked him where would be a good place to park and he responded with "Why?". I explained to him most good-naturedly, and he cut me off saying, "Nope, not allowed." I looked at him, asked "Seriously?" (I used my sarcastic voice here), and he replied "Company rules, no photography, you'll have to turn around and leave the premises."

First of all, I wasn't on the premises, it was a public road. Secondly, it's a stupid cable network, not the White House. Thirdly, if I hadn't been so tired from my long day, I would have found out exactly what he would have done if I had stood on public property and took pictures from there. What, does he have jurisdiction in the public streets? Does he have jurisdiction over preventing me from putting my boot up his ass? I'd guess "no" on both counts.

If I hadn't been so tired I might have come up with, "Seriously? What are you an airport now?" instead of just "Seriously". And maybe instead of just riding away I might have said something like "Excellent customer service - way to treat a fan. I'll be sure never to tune in again. Asshat."

What really pisses me off is that the entire episode was fucking ridiculous. Ludicrous even. Corporate stupidity at its best. You know what? You want to make stupid corporate rules and hire some dipshit to enforce them, go right ahead. But here I am, a free man, enjoying my summer vacation on public property, and you have the balls to try to leverage your corporate stupidity on me? Fuck off, stupid cable network, fuck right the fuck off.

Welcome, and Go Fuck Yourself

This journal will be an expression of my displeasure with things that happen in my life. Rants, in other words. It feels good to bitch about things to the Internet, just get that karma back out into circulation where it belongs so it doesn't all get stored up in my back and screw me over with spinal cramps when I go to stand up to get another cup of coffee.

I'm doing this in a separate venue from my regular blog, because I wanted to keep that one positive and poetic. Also, I wanted to give you, my dear friends, more things to clicky clicky while you are supposed to be working.

Let's hope it's not updated all that frequently.